Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
