What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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