I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Randomize
