We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
