Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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