you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
