i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
