Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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