she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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