I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
