I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
