Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
