I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
