i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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