i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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