; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
