There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
