There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wish you could order shots online.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
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