Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize