I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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