My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
