I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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