I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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