Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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