His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
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i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
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I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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