This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
please don't ironically join a cult
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
