Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
