My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
