I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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