I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
