I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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