I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
