I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
