Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
