K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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