you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
