Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
