btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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