Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
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Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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