summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
