Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
