..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
