she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
