I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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