even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
