In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
