they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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