Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
