hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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