you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
