wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
