So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
