your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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