Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
