you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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