we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize