Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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