Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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