Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize