Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
