You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
