To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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