Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
